I want it to be, like, messy

I'm so insecure, I think

That I'll die before I drink

And I'm so caught up in the news

Of who likes me, and who hates you

And I'm so tired that I might

Quit my job, start a new life

And they'd all be so disappointed

Cause who am I, if not exploited?

And I'm so sick of 17

Where's my fucking teenage dream?

If someone tells me one more time

Enjoy your youth, I'm gonna cry

And I don't stick up for myself

I'm anxious and nothing can help

And I wish I'd done this before

And I wish people liked me more

All I did was try my best

This the kind of thanks I get?

Unrelentlessly upset (ah, ah, ah)

They say these are the golden years

But I wish I could disappear

Ego crush is so severe

God, it's brutal out here

(Yeah!)

I feel like no one wants me

And I hate the way I'm perceived

I only have two real friends

And lately, I'm a nervous wreck

Cause I love people I don't like

And I hate every song I write

And I'm not cool and I'm not smart

And I can't even parallel park

All I did was try my best

This the kind of thanks I get?

Unrelentlessly upset (ah, ah, ah)

They say these are the golden years

But I wish I could disappear

Ego crush is so severe

God, it's brutal out here

(Yeah! Just having a really good time)

Got a broken ego, broken heart (it's brutal out here, it's brutal out here)

And God, I don't even know where to start

Ooh-ooh-ooh

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

Brown guilty eyes and little white lies

Yeah, I played dumb but I always knew

That you'd talk to her, maybe did even worse

I kept quiet so I could keep you

And ain't it funny

How you ran to her

The second that we called it quits?

And ain't it funny

How you said you were friends?

Now it sure as hell don't look like it

You betrayed me

And I know that you'll never feel sorry

For the way I hurt, yeah

You'd talk to her

When we were together

Loved you at your worst

But that didn't matter

It took you two weeks

To go off and date her

Guess you didn't cheat

But you're still a traitor

Now you bring her around

Just to shut me down

Show her off like she's a new trophy

And I know if you were true

There's no damn way that you

Could fall in love with somebody that quickly

Ain't it funny

All the twisted games

All the questions you used to avoid?

Ain't it funny?

Remember I brought her up

And you told me I was paranoid

You betrayed me

And I know that you'll never feel sorry

For the way I hurt, yeah

You'd talk to her

When we were together

Loved you at your worst

But that didn't matter

It took you two weeks

To go off and date her

Guess you didn't cheat

But you're still a traitor

God, I wish that you had thought this through

Before I went and fell in love with you

(Ah-ah-ah)

When she's sleeping in the bed we made

Don't you dare forget about the way

You betrayed me

Cause I know that you'll never feel sorry

For the way I hurt, yeah

You'd talk to her

When we were together

You gave me your word

But that didn't matter

It took you two weeks

To go off and date her

Guess you didn't cheat

But you're still

You're still a traitor (ah-ah-ah)

Yeah, you're still a traitor

Ooh-ooh-ooh

God, I wish that you had thought this through

Before I went and fell in love with you

I got my driver's license last week

Just like we always talked about

Cause you were so excited for me

To finally drive up to your house

But today I drove through the suburbs

Cryin' 'cause you weren't around

And you're probably with that blonde girl

Who always made me doubt

She's so much older than me

She's everything I'm insecure about

Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs

Cause how could I ever love someone else?

And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

And all my friends are tired

Of hearing how much I miss you, but

I kinda feel sorry for them

Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah

Today I drove through the suburbs

And pictured I was driving home to you

And I know we weren't perfect

But I've never felt this way for no one, oh

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Red lights, stop signs

I still see your face in the white cars, front yards

Can't drive past the places we used to go to

Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

Sidewalks we crossed

I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing

Over all the noise

God, I'm so blue, know we're through

But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Called you on the phone today

Just to ask you how you were

All I did was speak normally

Somehow I still struck a nerve

You got me fucked up in the head, boy

Never doubted myself so much

Like, am I pretty? Am I fun, boy?

I hate that I give you power over that kind of stuff

Cause it's always one step forward and three steps back

I'm the love of your life until I make you mad

It's always one step forward and three steps back

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy, I don't understand

No, I don't understand

And maybe in some masochistic way

I kinda find it all exciting

Like, which lover will I get today?

Will you walk me to the door or send me home cryin'?

It's one step forward and three steps back

I'm the love of your life until I make you mad

It's always one step forward and three steps back

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy, I don't understand

No, it's back and forth, did I say something wrong?

It's back and forth, goin' over everything I said

It's back and forth, did I do something wrong?

It's back and forth, maybe this is all your fault

Instead it's one step forward and three steps back

And I'd leave you, but the roller coaster is all I've ever had

Yeah, it's one step forward and three steps back

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy

I don't understand

No, I don't understand

Car rides to Malibu

Strawberry ice cream

One spoon for two

And trading jackets

Laughing 'bout how small it looks on you

(Ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha)

Watching reruns of Glee

Being annoying

Singing in harmony

I bet she's bragging

To all her friends, saying you're so unique, hmm

So when you gonna tell her

That we did that, too?

She thinks it's special

But it's all reused

That was our place, I found it first

I made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you

Do you get déjà vu when she's with you?

Do you get déjà vu? (Ah), hmm

Do you get déjà vu, huh?

Do you call her

Almost say my name?

Cause let's be honest

We kinda do sound the same

Another actress

I hate to think that I was just your type

I'll bet that she knows Billy Joel

Cause you played her "Uptown Girl"

You're singing it together

Now I bet you even tell her

How you love her

In between the chorus and the verse (ooh) (I love you)

So when you gonna tell her

That we did that, too?

She thinks it's special

But it's all reused

That was the show we talked about

Played you the song she's singing now when she's with you

Do you get déjà vu when she's with you?

Do you get déjà vu? Oh

Do you get déjà vu?

Strawberry ice cream in Malibu

Don't act like we didn't do that shit, too

You're trading jackets like we used to do

(Yeah, everything is all reused)

Play her piano, but she doesn't know (oh, oh)

That I was the one who taught you Billy Joel (oh)

A different girl now, but there's nothing new

(I know you get déjà vu)

Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

You found a new girl, and it only took a couple weeks

Remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world? (World?)

And good for you, I guess that you've been working on yourself

I guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped

Now you can be a better man for your brand-new girl (girl)

Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy

Not me, if you ever cared to ask

Good for you, you're doing great out there without me, baby

God, I wish that I could do that

I've lost my mind, I've spent the night crying on the floor of my bathroom

But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it

But I guess good for you

Well, good for you, I guess you're getting everything you want (ah)

You bought a new car and your career's really taking off (ah)

It's like we never even happened

Baby, what the fuck is up with that? (Ha)

And good for you, it's like you never even met me

Remember when you swore to God I was the only person who ever got you?

Well, screw that and screw you

You will never have to hurt the way you know that I do

Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy

Not me, if you ever cared to ask

Good for you, you're doing great out there without me, baby

God, I wish that I could do that

I've lost my mind, I've spent the night crying on the floor of my bathroom

But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it

But I guess good for you

Ah-ah-ah-ah

Ah-ah-ah-ah

Maybe I'm too emotional

But your apathy is like a wound in salt

Maybe I'm too emotional

Or maybe you never cared at all

Maybe I'm too emotional

Your apathy is like a wound in salt

Maybe I'm too emotional

Or maybe you never cared at all

Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy

Not me, if you ever cared to ask

Good for you, you're doing great out there without me, baby

Like a damn sociopath!

I've lost my mind, I've spent the night crying on the floor of my bathroom

But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it

But I guess good for you

Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

I wore makeup when we dated

Cause I thought you'd like me more

If I looked like the other prom queens

I know that you loved before

Tried so hard to be everything that you liked

Just for you to say you're not the compliment type

And I knew how you took your coffee

And your favorite songs by heart

I read all of your self-help books

So you'd think that I was smart

Stupid, emotional, obsessive little me

I knew from the start this is exactly how you'd leave

You found someone more exciting

The next second, you were gone

And you left me there cryin', wonderin' what I did wrong

And you always say I'm never satisfied

But I don't think that's true

Cause all I ever wanted was to be enough for you

And all I ever wanted was to be enough for you

And maybe I'm just not as interesting

As the girls you had before

But God, you couldn't have cared less

About someone who loved you more

I'd say you broke my heart

But you broke much more than that

Now I don't want your sympathy

I just want myself back

Before you found someone more exciting

The next second, you were gone

And you left me there cryin', wonderin' what I did wrong

And you always say I'm never satisfied

But I don't think that's true

Cause all I ever wanted was to be enough

Don't you think I loved you too much to be used and discarded?

Don't you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing?

But don't tell me you're sorry, boy

Feel sorry for yourself

Cause someday I'll be everything to somebody else

And they'll think that I am so exciting

And you'll be the one who's crying

Yeah, you always say I'm never satisfied

But I don't think that's true

You say I'm never satisfied

But that's not me, it's you

Cause all I ever wanted was to be enough

But I don't think anything could ever be enough

For you, enough for you, oh-oh

No, nothing's enough for you

We broke up a month ago

Your friends are mine, you know, I know

You've moved on, found someone new

One more girl who brings out the better in you

And I thought my heart was detached

From all the sunlight of our past

But she's so sweet, she's so pretty

Does she mean you forgot about me?

Oh, I hope you're happy

But not like how you were with me

I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go

So find someone great, but don't find no one better

I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

And do you tell her she's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen?

An eternal love bullshit you know you'll never mean

Remember when I believed you meant it when you said it first to me?

And now I'm pickin' her apart

Like cuttin' her down will make you miss my wretched heart

But she's beautiful, she looks kind

She probably gives you butterflies

I hope you're happy

But not like how you were with me

I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go

So find someone great but don't find no one better

I hope you're happy

I wish you all the best, really

Say you love her, baby, just not like you loved me

And think of me fondly when your hands are on her

I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

Ooh-ooh

I hope you're happy

Just not like how you were with me

I'm selfish, I know, can't let you go

So find someone great, but don't find no one better

I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

I kinda wanna throw my phone across the room

Cause all I see are girls too good to be true

With paper-white teeth and perfect bodies

Wish I didn't care

I know their beauty's not my lack

But it feels like that weight is on my back

And I can't let it go

Co-comparison is killing me slowly

I think, I think too much

Bout kids who don't know me

I'm so sick of myself

I'd rather be, rather be

Anyone, anyone else

My jealousy, jealousy

Started following me (he-he-he, he-he)

Started following me (he-he-he, he-he)

And I see everyone getting all the things I want

And I'm happy for them, but then again, I'm not

Just cool vintage clothes and vacation photos

I can't stand it, oh, God, I sound crazy

Their win is not my loss

I know it's true

But I can't help getting caught up in it all

Co-co-comparison is killing me slowly

I think, I think too much

Bout kids who don't know me

I'm so sick of myself

I'd rather be, rather be

Anyone, anyone else

My jealousy, jealousy (yeah)

All your friends are so cool, you go out every night

In your daddy's nice car, yeah, you're living the life

Got a pretty face, a pretty boyfriend too

I wanna be you so bad, and I don't even know you

All I see is what I should be

Happier, prettier, jealousy, jealousy

All I see is what I should be

I'm losing it, all I get's, jealousy, jealousy

Co-comparison is killing me slowly

I think, I think too much

Bout kids who don't know me

And I'm so sick of myself

I'd rather be, rather be (oh, oh)

Anyone, anyone else (anybody else)

Jealousy, jealousy

Oh, I'm so sick of myself

I'd rather be, rather be (oh-oh)

Anyone, anyone else

Jealousy, jealousy

Started following me

Know that I loved you so bad

I let you treat me like that

I was your willing accomplice, honey

And I watched as you fled the scene

Doe-eyed as you buried me

One heart broke, four hands bloody

Those things I did

Just so I could call you mine

The things you did

Well, I hope I was your favorite crime

You used me as an alibi

I crossed my heart as you crossed the line

And I defended you to all my friends

And now, every time a siren sounds

I wonder if you're around

Cause you know that I'd do it all again

All the things I did

Just so I could call you mine

The things you did

Well, I hope I was your favorite crime

It's bittersweet to think about the damage that we do

Cause I was going down, but I was doing it with you

Yeah, everything we broke, and all the trouble that we made

But I say that I hate you with a smile on my face

Oh, look what we became

All the things I did

Just so I could call you mine

All the things you did

Well, I hope I was your favorite crime

Your favorite crime

Your favorite crime

Cause baby, you were mine

I knew a boy once, when I was small

A tow-head blonde, with eyes of salt

He played the drum in the marching band

His parents cared more about the Bible

Than being good to their own child

He wore long sleeves 'cause of his dad

And somehow, we fell out of touch

Hope he took his bad deal and made a royal flush

Don't know if I'll see you again someday

But if you're out there, I hope that you're okay

My middle school friend grew up alone

She raised her brothers on her own

Her parents hated who she loved

She couldn't wait to go to college

She was tired 'cause she was brought

Into a world where family was merely blood

Does she know how proud I am she was created

With the courage to unlearn all of their hatred

We don't talk much but I just gotta say

I miss you, and I hope that you're okay

Address the letters, to the holes in my butterfly wings

Nothing's forever, nothing is as good as it seems

And when the clouds are ironed out

And the monsters creep into your house

And every door is hard to close

Well, I hope you know how proud I am you were created

With the courage to unlearn all of their hatred

God, I hope that you're happier today

Cause I love you, and I hope that you're okay